Love

I love you

and every millisecond

that my eyes don't rest

on your coveted face

I am living as recovering

drug addict

I love you

and it intoxicates me

I can't tell left from right

My knees wobble

like a wino in the middle of

a frost bitten winter

I love you

so much so that I

forget to eat

or feel pain

as my muscles

contort to allow

for this lack of nutrition

which is what not being with you is

I forget to enjoy

the leaves on trees

because they mights as well

be bare

I forget to enjoy the light

I might as well be blind

because my eyes, do not rest

unless they are fervently looking at

and through you

I love you

like a shark

ferociously threatens

with its fins at the surface

of the ocean

its teeth sinking into

its prey, shredding

beyond recognition,

taking it in piece by piece

until it is absorbed

I love you

So much

that when I prostrate myself

before my creator

I thank Al Karim

for being so

generous

as to let me set eyes on you

Ya Allah

how can I not declare you

to be As Samad?

for only the One

can mold

can sculpt

can breathe life

into the dream

that I never knew I had

for myself

Only Al- Malik

could create a kingdom

where even

a mere servant

could still find

Bliss

Betrayed

I can't cry anymore because I'm afraid
That my tears will burn like acid rain
My body has betrayed me
It has turned against me
Waged Mutiny
My own cells producing what will seize
And eventually Kill me
The doctors says if I have a mastectomy
If i cut my breast there is a chance
I will see life's promise again
What if I let the knife seperate me
from my claim to the past
Parts of my anatomy
the wrikles and dimples
what if I let go of them and i still die?
My breasts that have fed my two children
My breast that seduced my husband
My life line has been preemtivly cut
These mountains of doom
The soft dunes that have ached with milk
That wouldn't allow me to fit in every shirt
But I still love them
When my husband undresses me
Will his eyes still be filled with lust?
Or will he only see the shadow
Of the woman I used to be?
Before My body tried to steal away
beats from my heart
Tried to empty my lungs of air
Oh body of mine, what have I done,
That you would want to be rid of me?
Have I taken you to McDonald too much
Haven't I filled your belly with laughter?
Haven't I filled your heart with love?
Your mind with understanding?
Why would you seek vengeance
I am going to ask my doctor to cut me
To separate my breasts and me
So I can give a little hope to my daughters
pray that it will allow more time with me
To offer the world a little bit
Before my last breath is gone
My words a distant memories
and my life remembered on a tombstone

your ear

Your ear
I see its secrets resounding.
In a tiny cave within
That transfer noise into thought
Awaiting the tongue of a lover
To send shivers down your spine
Its shape so subtle
With curvatures that allow for sound
To rebound
That I get the lock and key to your body
My whispers naughty
Its depth..pulsing vibration
Of a sound deep in the soul
Gives dance its rhythm
Expression to deflect from pain
and violence
Do you HEAR me?
I'm angry
Do you listen?
My heart is breaking
I'm yelling at the top of my lugs
And yet you turn a deaf ear
To the wails of a city
The Dog unattended
Barking wildly in his one bedroom apartment
The child screaming
Pleading for someone one to help
as the wrath of the parents
Comes down with a belt
The hunger pains of a teenager
Whose pain can only be subsided
With acceptance and self worth
You hear but but you don't listen
Your ear has lost its conscience
The hollow of its cave has lost its purpose
Your ear no longer holds importance

War

I woke up this morning with the earth usual tremblings
she's screaming that word again, War war war
all i know in my seven years of age, is that,
i haven't been to school in 3 weeks and I kind of miss it
Ismaeil used to tease me and play with my hair
but when I go back he's probably not going to be there
the tremblings of the floor always happen
they never seem to stop
I just wish for once i'd sleep like i used to
without hearing my mom scream all the time
About this bush
why is she so mad at a bush?
if it would stop her from screaming
I'd go and find it and cut its roots off
so the tremblings could stop
my mom would be calm
and my three cousins from Kabul
would come back to show my mom they are alright
yesterday, I was playing in the yard
well its not much of a yard
most of the earth has swallowed it
I was playing with what seemed like a rock
A rock I'd seen plenty of times before
but my mom, who loves to make a big deal out of everything
she took it out of my hand with such violence
and all of a sudden everything went black
i found myself in a hospital bed
With only one hand
and I asked the nurse with kind eyes
where was my mother?
She said, we lost her to the War
War? War?
I'm looking for this war..
Why has it taken my mother
And will it ever give her back to me?

A man

She wants a man
A Real Man
Not only one who knows how to use his appendage
How to lick shots but sees no repercussions
Not the one who wants naught to do with
the Fruit of his Loins
A man
One who from the very tips of his toes
Points him in the direction
To Run, with his feet,
Away from Temptation
The temptation to loose oneself in this life
His legs, not sculpted solely to be intertwined
In a twist of pleasure
His hips... rocking,
Following the rhythm in his soul
The cries of ancestors of old
The moans of his woman
As his grips a hold of her man
A real Man
One who's spines strength
Can bare the weight of truth
No matter the worries that might fall back
Back Back
On his Back
Reality scratched....etched on his shoulders
The weight of the world
Yet in his chest, lungs breathing in
beauty as he inhales it from the world
In his heart, pain..sorrow,
But the love, that blooms within him
for the woman before him
Balms him from insanity
His neck, the symbol of elegance
Arrogance, stature..
He does not let the world see
His weaknesses,
His lips firm yet soft to touch
Open as easily to give one a stern warning
As to take a child in his embrace
A man
In whose stare one can get lost in
Whose thoughts are never apparent
His eyes, which intensify
When he see the object
Of his affection
The Apple of his iris
She wants a Man
That man

Finding my way

Trying to face reality while turning my back
I was scared that the world would see the things I lacked
Turmoil burning inside me I decided to stand still
Maybe the fire wouldn't burn me if i did nothing until
I woke up eyes lightly veiled
I saw my future up for sale
I chose a direction unpopular for some
But it was the direction of that which created the sun
I finally saw the circumstances as they were
I was scared, afraid and everything was a blur
I gave my courage up for truth no matter who concurred
That it might be the best thing for my soul
That God would protect me, no matter the hole
I have dug up for my self,
I put my life on a shelf
In order to be the person i wanted to be admired
I stopped my destructive cycle,and put my vices up on a pyre
Chose the path designed for me
Was showered with blessings beyond seas
Never will I ever doubt for a minute patience and gratitude
Worked for me, God made for me a life of servitude
Not to my urges, not to my vanities, but to the Almighty
Truly the Most Merciful has shown me the most generosity
And I fight and pray
To keep the whispers of Satan at bay
And help me oh Allah never to fall into dispair
Verily, doing so would make me forget to Care.
Amin!